So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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