glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize