Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
