weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
