Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
