Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
