its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
