Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i need some magic done to my vagina
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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