Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
