i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
