READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
