I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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