did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
