Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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