can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
