i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
