I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
