Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
