get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
People in love make me want to vomit
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
