he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
