Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
organizing the empties. That sober.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
