i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
