Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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