Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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