nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
