Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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