ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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