i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
