WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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