So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
did you just send me my own nude
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
