We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize