ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
