i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My feet surprised me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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