I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
