Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
