I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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