I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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