Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
