areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
