The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
