I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize