guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I didn't notice because vodka
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize