yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
