so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
