we have officially lost it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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