Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
