she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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