nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No subtext here. People are naked.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
