just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
