in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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