I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize