No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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