Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize