When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
