we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
