Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
