It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
