I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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