all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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